


Private Show

by Beshrew_My_Very_Heart



Series: Across the Universe Bingo! [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e08 Hold On to Sixteen, F/M, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29269191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beshrew_My_Very_Heart/pseuds/Beshrew_My_Very_Heart
Summary: Kurt Hummel has had a bad week, and getting a phone call from his step-brother begging him to help them get the rest of the way to Kentucky is not seeming likely to improve his disposition. What he finds in a bar called Stallionz, however, might be just what he needs to turn his mood around.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Sam Evans/Kurt Hummel
Series: Across the Universe Bingo! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149485
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41
Collections: Across the Universe Bingo





	Private Show

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Across the Universe Bingo! For the prompt Stripper, Which was not the start of any kind of line, but like... come on. Low hanging fruit and one of my favourite ships.

“I have to say that I think it was a great plan for the two of you to go on this roadtrip without the boy who has spent his entire life surrounded by and fixing cars,” Kurt said with as much sarcasm as he could muster, as he leant out of the window of the Navigator. It felt a little like kicking someone when they were down though, as he examined Rachel’s hybrid, whilst Finn and Rachel pulled their overnight bags from the back of her car and loaded them into the trunk. “I mean, who could have foresaw that you might run into car trouble, considering the dozen or so times I’ve told you to bring Rachel’s car in for a tune up?”

Finn shrugged uselessly, clearly exhausted from the day, but Rachel seemed as full of energy as she had ever been as she yanked open the passenger side door. “Considering your current emotional situation, I thought it would be best to let you recover.” She said, adjusting the seat and putting on her seatbelt, “and I wasn’t convinced you’d want to spend time with me, considering—” 

“Considering you stuffed the ballot boxes, and accidentally kept me from winning Senior Class President?” Kurt shrugged as casually as he could with the tension that was running through his body. He watched her hesitate, before gathering herself and continuing to get comfortable, “It has been a difficult week, I must admit, but honestly? I would have appreciated the opportunity to go see one of my friends in another state, rather than dealing with... everything at home.” He trailed off, turning to watch the tow truck begin the process of collecting Rachel’s car.

“You doing okay, Kurt?” Finn asked, reaching over the back of the driver’s seat to squeeze his shoulder.

“No.” Kurt glanced in the rearview mirror, giving Finn a tight smile. Finn offered him a sad smile in return, and Kurt took a deep breath before straightening up and starting the car. “So, what is the plan on finding Sam?” 

“Well... do you remember last year, when Sam lost his phone at school?” Rachel asked, and Kurt shrugged absently, “Well, I let him log in to a find-your-phone app on my device. And he never logged out, so...” She trailed off, as she held out the phone that had a map on display with two blinking red lights, one halfway between Ohio and Kentucky and another in Kentucky itself.

“Oh, wow. That’s... concerning.” Kurt glanced at her face before pulling back back onto the road, “Remind me to change all my passwords when I get home, in case you’re tracking me on any of those.”

“You say that now, but when the three of us are living in New York, you’ll be asking to share my Netflix account, or my friends and family discount to whatever show I’m in.” Rachel spoke calmly and almost serenely, as if she didn’t have an app on her phone tracking a former member of the New Directions, “or insisting the food in the kitchen is communal, when it clearly has a post-it with my name on top.”

“I sound like a terrible roommate,” Kurt gestured to the radio, “See if you can find something that doesn’t sound like something they would sing at Dalton, please? I’d rather not see if I can make the steering wheel explode just from clenching it too tightly.” 

“‘Broadway Musicals’ it is then!” Rachel announced, ignoring Finn’s noise of complaint, and started to fiddle with the dials. Kurt let out a soft sigh under his breath, forcing himself to keep his entire attention on the road ahead of him. 

Rachel wasn’t wrong, he probably wasn’t going to be the best company. Even if he was just dealing with the Senior Class President situation, he had a tendency to get moody, but adding the fact that his boyfriend had dumped him pushed him well into unpleasant driving companion territory. And not just ‘dumped him’, but dumped him for Sebastian Smythe, the smarmy weasel, who had decided to send Kurt a sympathy bouquet the day after Blaine had taken him aside to explain why he felt it wasn’t working.

He followed the least dangerous of Rachel’s sudden directions, avoiding cutting across multiple lanes of traffic even if she was insistent on waiting until the last possible moment to warn him about an upcoming turn. She and Finn were chattering back and forth for most of the journey, and Kurt tried not to resent that they were enjoying themselves amongst his misery.

Of course that stopped as Rachel threw up her hand in a seedy part of town, and announced, “We passed him!”

Kurt pulled to the side of the street, trying not to snap about her dramatics, and instead glancing around, “Is he moving?” 

“No, no... he’s...” She lifted her phone and glanced around with it, watching the map slowly reorrientate, “That one over there.” She pointed almost violently towards a car park. 

“Rachel, I need you to tell me that you’re not seriously pointing at a bar called Stallionz with a straight face and telling me that you think Sam Evans is there.” Kurt sighed, but started trying to find a place to park.

“Kurt, you know as well as I do that the arts are severely underfunded. We once had to hold rehearsals in a roller rink, I’ll remind you, so your disdain for a group performing in a bar space is clearly a sign that you are in a foul mood and should not be taking part in this mission.” She sniffed delicately, folding her arms across her chest as he pulled into a space.

Kurt shook his head slowly, and quickly shot out a hand as she started to unbuckle her seatbelt, “Oh no, you are not going in there.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, if Sam is allowed inside—” 

“I won’t have to look Sam’s parents in the eyes during the next Tony Award season,” Kurt huffed, “Hiram and Leroy would murder me. I love you with all the love my little gay heart can express for a woman, but you are tiny and come across as painfully innocent. Myself and Finn will go inside.”

“No offence, Kurt, in fact it’s a compliment to your future longevity as a performer, but you do not carry your age on your face,” She narrowed her eyes, “What makes you think it’s more appropriate for you to try and get inside?”

“Because I still have a fake ID from my ill-fated trip to Scandals,” He said, pulling it out of his wallet, and showing it to her, “Chazz Donaldsworth, 25, Hawaii.” 

“This doesn’t even look like you,” She muttered, narrowing her eyes at the piece of plastic.

“Nope, but it’s the best that the man who stole my boyfriend, and has access to the district attorney’s bank accounts, could afford.” Kurt slipped into his pocket, “This is going to be nice and simple. You should stay here, watch the car, and if we get arrested? Call my dad.” 

“And my mom,” Finn added quickly.

“They... they share a bedroom, Finn. You think my dad would just....” Kurt closed his eyes for a moment, praying for strength, “Lets go. Hopefully, he’s just working the bar.” 

Rachel reached back to squeeze Finn’s hand, and Kurt took a moment to unbutton one of his shirt buttons and slip his fabulous knit sweater into the car. 

He glanced Finn over critically but there wasn’t anything he could really do with the shirt and jeans combination, and he couldn’t find a reason to put it off again, “Okay. Let’s... go witness this.” He muttered.

“I’m sure it’s fine, dude. Like, Sam can’t be that bad at...dinner theatre?” Finn said as they began to walk, shoving his hands into his pocket, “I mean, I guess Rocky Horror had a bigger impact that we thought, huh?” 

“Let’s not give the censorship people any free ammunition about that show, thank you very much.” Kurt muttered, as they approached the door. They were painted black, but were both held open, with a burly, balding doorman stationed in front. 

The doorman gave them a once-over. “Fair warning, it’s ladies night, guys. And it’s pretty packed, so I doubt you’re gonna have much fun.”

“Urgh, I know, right? It’s the worst, but my friend was telling me that this was the best place for us to go,” Kurt laughed insipidly, slipping his arm through Finn’s, “I said that you can’t just google gay friendly bars, but he was like, ‘How else are you supposed to find one.’” 

“Right,” The doorman rolled his eyes, but gestured to the door. “Have a good time at Stallionz.” 

Kurt tugged Finn along, who was going with his tried and tested way of dealing with Kurt at any kind of commercial event; keeping his mouth shut, and either smiling or frowning depending on Kurt’s tone. It had worked in almost every situation so far, including when they returned the shirt Finn had bought for his mom that didn’t fit, but that he’d already cut the tags off. It was also, apparently, enough to get them into Stallionz.

“Oh, my god, you heard him pronounce the Z, right?” Kurt muttered, as they stepped inside to the sound of women chattering and glasses and plates being move around. “I could tell just on inflection that it wasn’t an S, but a Z.” 

“Why are we pretending to be gay?” Finn said quietly, “Not that, like, there’s anything wrong with being gay, but I’m your brother, dude.” 

“Look, Finn, I hope I’m wrong about this. I also hope that I’m about to turn around and see Sam, entirely with a shirt on, cleaning glasses—” Kurt glanced over his shoulder and shook his head when he took in the slim bartender with tribal tattoos on his forearm, who was definitely not their former classmate, “but Hope is the opiate of the masses.” 

“No clue what that means, but hey! Free Buffet.” Finn took a step towards it and Kurt grabbed his arm.

“Definitely not free, and you do not eat the buffet at a place like this.” He was about to continue, when the loud speaker burst into life announcing the entertainment for the evening. The women who were still milling around charged the stage.

“Oh, cool, I didn’t know they did a Backdraft Musical.” Finn said brightly as Cobra the Firefighter came on stage, and Kurt tried not to snort as ‘Mr. Package’ the pilot was announced, but his amusement died as ‘White Chocolate’ entered the scene, with all the confidence of a man who had done this several times before.

Kurt took a sharp breath as Sam reached down and ripped off his workman overalls, and instinctively turned to look at Finn, as though that was somehow less inappropriate than what was going on on the stage.

Finn, however, was having a crisis of his own, as he murmured, “That’s not an image I can ever get out of my mind.” 

“Oh please, we’ve both seen him in a lot less,” Kurt slapped his arm lightly, “just stop staring.” 

“But he’s... bouncing at the audience,” Finn turned to Kurt with wide-eyes, “we’ve got to stop him before he embarrasses himself, dude.” 

“I think the ship has long since sailed on that, Finn.” Kurt said, turning Finn away from the stage and back towards the bar. The man behind it gave them a strange look, and Kurt rolled his eyes dramatically, “My friend here was having some... questions about himself, and I think my master plan has just invited more.” He said quietly, almost conspiringly, “I think he just needs water or a coke?” 

“I’ll get him one. Evan— I mean, White Chocolate is a lot.” The bartender grinned, quickly filling a glass and taking the money that Kurt handed him, “You seem pretty at home though.” 

“Well, this isn’t the lilac fields I used to dream of, but I’ve long been an admirer of the male form,” Kurt said lightly, patting Finn’s shoulder and pushing the drink under Finn’s chin so he could reach the straw to chew it nervously. “Is White Chocolate performing all night?” 

“This is the big opener, and then we get a couple of second stringers. Still hot guys, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t draw in the same crowd. The headliners come out and perform inbetween, unless someone gets a private show.”

“And, do you get to pick your performer for the private show?” Kurt asked, leaning forward onto his elbows.

“Let me go and get the book,” The Bartender grinned, and moved further down the bar, crouching down to look for something. Kurt sat back down in his seat, and rolled his eyes as Finn grabbed his elbow.

“Dude, we don’t have time for this. We have to find Sam—” 

“I know. But charging up to him on stage, or breaking into the dressing room seems like a fantastic way of getting him fired.” Kurt shot back, pulling his arm from Finn’s grip.

“He shouldn’t be working here,” Finn insisted, “He’s... He shouldn’t be here.” 

“Whether I agree with you or not, that isn’t a choice I can make for him. And for all we know, he desperately needs the money.” Kurt shook his head, “I’m going to get a private show with him, and try and talk to him. You don’t have to come, you can go and sit in the car with Rachel if you want.” Kurt paused, tilting his head as he took in Finn’s tight shoulders and resolute look, “in fact, no. You _are_ going to go sit in the car.” 

“What? Why?” Finn shook his head, “I should go with you as... backup, dude.” 

“Because that’s your ‘I’m gonna kick an inanimate object’ face, and I’m not going to have my dad bail me out of jail because you started a fight in a stripclub.” Kurt glanced over his shoulder at where the bartender was making himself busy and obviously trying not to listen, “Just go. I’ll talk to Sam, find out where he lives so we can go and talk to him there.” 

“Fine.” Finn grumbled, standing up and looking around, “I’ll be outside.” 

Kurt watched to make sure Finn had actually left, before he relaxed and turned back to the bar. A moment later the bartender returned, a slim folder under his arm. “Your friend left?”

“The dangers of trying to help someone come to terms with their sexuality,” Kurt lied easily, flopping his hand. “Hopefully tonight will shake something loose, but... we won’t know for a while.” 

“It’s a shame,” the bartender nodded, “but you’re still here?”

“I travelled all the way from Hawaii for this,” Kurt laughed, and flopped his head to the other side, “and because my uncle’s getting married again, but I’m much more excited about White Chocolate.” 

“Trust me, I would be too.” The guy laughed and opened the folder, “Alright, so, we do an hour for $200, or you can do it by the song for $25.” 

“Not to sound mercenary, but I imagine ‘by the song’ is how people end up spending more than they meant to.” Kurt grinned, and the bartender shot him an amused look. “I suppose I’ll take an hour then.” Kurt pulled out a card, and gestured with it, “I’m assuming that this won’t show up as anything too incriminating?”

“Hey, all of this is totally above board,” The bartender shrugged, pulling out a sheet of paper and sliding it across the table. “That’s got a reminder of all the rules and stuff. Not that I think you’re gonna be trouble, but best to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

Kurt gave the sheet a cursory glance, but since he didn’t plan on extending his time, or taking any of his clothes off. He definitely wasn’t going to touch Sam without his permission either. “Okay, so...”

“Just a couple more things,” The bartender gestured to the book, “Are you wanting any specific outfits? Any specific songs?”

“So long as it doesn’t cost extra, I say I’m open to being surprised.” Kurt offered the card again, “not that I’m cheap, but this is cutting into my eBay budget.”

“No judgement here,” the bartender laughed, and took the payment. “Alright, we’ll give you a get when the room is ready. But... lemme give you this.” He turned around to the till, and pulled out a small stack of dollar bills, pushing them over the bar. “Employee discount, so you have a good night. “ The guy leaned forward, and gave Kurt an inviting smile, “and once you’re done, maybe you want to hang out? I can tell you some nice places to get food?”

“That’s... very kind of you. I’ll certainly keep it in mind,” Kurt said, carefully folding the list of rules around the money. It wasn’t much later that a larger gentleman who looked decidedly less welcoming came and spoke quietly to the barman, before gesturing to Kurt. Kurt followed him through a door at the back of the room, and down a corridor, past a couple of entirely non-descript doors, before gesturing to one. 

Kurt nodded thankfully, and stepped through, acutely aware that the man was waiting right outside, but also that as the door shut, the sound of the club became entirely muffled. He took a seat in the center of the room, and put the paper and his money onto a nearby table. There was quiet music coming from the stage area, which reminded Kurt vaguely of hold music for customer service. There was a small buzzer on the table, along with a menu for the bar, with prices that made him wince. 

The music suddenly got quieter for a moment before fading into a very familiar song. Kurt tried to put on his best stage face as _I’m Sexy and I Know It_ began to blare out of the speakers. The lights in the audience had faded, as Sam stepped onto the stage in a fairly decent cowboy costume, his hat pulled low over his eyes as he strutted up to the stripper pole, and leant on it with a cocky demeanour. “Now, I hear someone from outta town’s been asking for me personally,” He said, and Kurt could see the nerves in the smile that tugged at his lips. “I’m Evan, but most people call me White— Kurt?”

“I mean, I think Kurt and White Kurt is a poor way to tell us apart, but if that’s what your heart is set on.” Kurt said, with a small grin, “Hey, ‘Evan’.”

“What’re you... How did you—” Sam’s eyes glanced around the room, “Am I being punked? Is this some weird scared straight thing?” 

“If it is, Finn and Rachel didn’t tell me about it. And Finn’s not a good enough actor to pull off the surprise at finding out this place is a strip club.” Kurt shrugged, gesturing around, “I’m here alone.”

“I...” Sam hesitated, his throat bobbing as he swallowed his nerves, and his eyes moved to a specific point on the wall behind Kurt, “Uh, I think you want to talk? But this room is totally recorded, dude. Like, no sound, but if I’m not working, I’m gonna get docked.”

Kurt nodded, “That was why I stopped Finn charging you on the main station. You do what you need to do, I promise I’ll be too embarrassed to enjoy it.” He gestured toward the stage, and straightened up in his seat as Sam started to shift to the music.

“Did Rachel see me? Nobody got like... photos right?” He asked as he began to unbutton the shirt slowly. 

“Do you think I would allow Rachel into a bar called Stallionz?” Kurt shook his head, trying to keep his attention on Sam’s face and not the flash of skin that was revealed, “Those two might be incapable of reading context clues, but I’m better at it.” 

“But you came in anyway?” Sam asked curiously, “Why?”

“Do you want me to cut right to it?” Kurt asked, and at Sam’s nod he grimaced, “How much do you know about what’s going on with Lima?” 

“Uh, I heard that a bunch of the girls left to join a new Glee Club?” Sam asked, “What, did the three of you decide to have a long weekend in Kentucky to deal with the stress?”

“No. Finn and Rachel decided that the best way to solve the problem was to come and convince you to come back and help us.” Kurt watched as Sam’s hands hesitated on the last button. “I don’t think they expected you to be... otherwise engaged.” 

“Have you got a problem with this?” Sam said, frowning as he finished with the last button and let the material slide off his shoulder, revealing the white undershirt beneath.. 

“No,” Kurt tried not to sound too emphatic. He clearly failed by the look that Sam gave him, and he sighed before he added, “I mean, I have a problem with the fact that you have to do it, knowing... what I know about you, and how we know each other. It feels really dangerous—”

“Is it more dangerous than Puck sleeping with all those married ladies with pools?” Sam flicked the shirt off the stage, and took hold of the pole, beginning to walk around it. Kurt couldn’t help but let his eyes trace the muscles of Sam’s arm, and he instinctively crossed his legs as he began to feel heat pooling in his stomach. “That was super illegal.” 

“So is this, but I understand your point. Again, if you were... five years older, I would support your choice.” Kurt shifted in his seat, “But—” 

His words caught in his throat as Sam’s fingers dropped down to the large buckle of his belt, and undid it with a single motion. Sam paused, but he didn’t say anything about the way that Kurt’s eyes had shot to the buckle, or the fact that he couldn’t seem to lift them back to Sam’s face, or lift his jaw from the ground. “You expect my parents to let me move across state lines, to live on the street?” He asked after a moment, slowly beginning to pull the belt free, one loop at a time.

“We have a guest room,” Kurt said a little too quickly, quickly tried to cover it with a look of ambivalence, “or Rachel and her dads have one. We wouldn’t have you living in a motel room on your own again.” 

“Does your dad know you’re offering out his house?” Sam shook his head lightly, “and what about eating? I work here because my parent’s money doesn’t stretch far enough to cover things like new shoes for Stevie, or if Stacy has to go to a sleepover and they’re ordering pizza. How am I supposed to help out with that from Lima?” 

“You could send money home,” Kurt offered as Sam tilted his head and casually hung the belt around his neck, taking hold of either end, and flexing his arms. “Get a part time job in Lima.”

“Not one that pays as well as here. I mean, this guy I know just paid $200 for an hour with me here.” Sam grinned, “I don’t think there’s a part time job that can stack up to that.” 

“Maybe not, but you could get a job you could put on your resume,” Kurt shrugged, as Sam dropped the belt and began to circle the pole again, “something safer, where you won’t end up in trouble should there ever be a situation that requires police attention.”

There were a few beats of Sam circling the pole, clearly absorbing what Kurt had said. He stopped after a moment, glancing Kurt up and down, “So why’d you end up here? I mean, you said Finn and Rachel came to convince me. Did you not?” He asked lightly, circling his hips.

“Their car broke down part way, and I had to come collect them,” Kurt watched as Sam paused, “Not that I wouldn’t have wanted to come and see you if I had been invited initially.” 

“I mean, I wouldn’t be hurt if you’d been busy. You’ve got Blaine to think about.” Sam reached down and pulled his undershirt off in one smooth move. Kurt instantly shot his eyes to the ceiling, because he knew he was going to stare if he saw anything more than that brief flash, and he wasn’t going to make this situation anymore uncomfortable than it already was.

“I don’t have to think about Blaine at all, actually.” Kurt dug his nails into his knee as he answered Sam’s question. “We broke up.” 

“Oh, dude, I’m so sorry,” Sam sounded genuinely disappointed, and Kurt heard him move closer even over the music. “What happened?”

“There is a new guy, Sebastian. From Dalton? He took us to a gay bar, where he spent the whole night flirting with Blaine, whilst I sat and had drinks with— It doesn’t matter. Anyway, a couple of days later, I slept with Blaine, which managed to get him to stick around through the Finn outing Santana controversy, but I think the damage was already done. Blaine decided we were better as friends, and Sebastian sent me a lovely conciliatory bouquet.” 

“That’s bullcrap, Kurt. You deserve better than that.” Sam’s head moved into view, and Kurt finally lowered his eyes to where Sam was kind of hovering over the chair. “I’m sorry that... I mean, I know not everyone stays with their first boyfriend, but like... you deserved better than him sleeping with you and moving on.”

“It’s hard at the moment,” Kurt nodded, untensed his hand, “Everyone’s lives are exploding at the same time, so... me getting pulled into the sea of relationship drama is not the highest priority.”

Sam nodded, “I... uh, I voted for you for Senior Class President. I mean, it was in JBI’s online poll, but I think it counts.” 

“It does to me. It actually means a lot.” Kurt couldn’t help but smile a little, “but, since Rachel stuffed the ballot boxes, I will make a clear that you would be coming back to the reign of President Pierce.” 

“Brit’s cool,” Sam glanced at Kurt, and leaned forward, “Dude, you can relax. You’re not auditioning for the Nutcracker here.” He gave a pointed look at Kurt’s legs.

“This is already quite awkward, and proof that I need to think through my plans a lot more thoroughly,” Kurt said, as he took in Sam’s shirtlessness properly, “I don’t think you need a sudden reminder of my sexuality shoved in your face.” 

“Kurt, what kind of guys do you think come to a bar called Stallionz.” Sam shook his head, putting his foot on the arm of Kurt’s chair and circling his hips a little, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” 

Kurt wanted to act as though he wasn’t bothered, but that was the point that Sam decided to start to reach for the button of his jeans. He took a deep breath, and shook his head, “You’re trying to distract me.” 

“Is it working?” Sam grinned, “Come on, I need some time to think about all of this, and what you’re asking. Like, do I want to quit? I’m good at this job.” 

“I’m not arguing that point.” Kurt shuffled back and unfolded his legs. “But, you know you can’t do this forever. You shouldn’t have to do it now. You’re...” He gave Sam a pointed look, “You’re younger than me, and I had to use a fake ID to get in.” 

“Fake ID? Nice,” Sam chuckled and popped the button, “Who am I talking to, then?” 

“Chazz. Two Z’s.” 

“Urgh, sounds like a douchebag.” Sam wrinkled his nose, “where’s he from?” 

“Hawaii, and he looks nothing like me.” Kurt shook his head, “What about you?” 

“Evan Samuels.” 

“You realise that’s terrible right?” Kurt grinned, and Samuel snorted. “That’s barely a secret identity.” 

“I thought it was great. Made it more likely if someone shouted it, I’d turn around,” Sam popped the button, “So, I’d come back to McKinley and... perform at Sectionals?” 

“That would be the plan,” Kurt listened as the music quietened, and he heard the teeth of Sam’s zipper opening, before another song started, “We could work out the details. We just want to know if you’re interested.” 

“I mean... I miss everyone. Even if we only knew each other a year, you were some of my best friends.” Sam stepped away from the chair so that he could step onto the stage, and slide the jeans over his ass, before letting them pool on the ground. “But it might be a little weird, I mean...” 

“Because you were dating Mercedes over the summer?” Kurt offered, trying not to smirk when Sam stumbled over his jeans, and looked back at him with surprise, “I’m one of her best friends, I saw a text one night at a sleepover. I found the whole secret relationship very sweet.” 

“Yeah, but we broke up because I was leaving. And now she’s dating this Shane guy?” Sam shrugged, “plus, like, she’s not gonna handle this well.” 

“I think she would be okay with it, because you’re trying to support your family.” Kurt shrugged, “but you’re right, I can’t promise you a girlfriend when you return. I’d be happy to keep you company in the meantime, since Tina has Mike, and Mercedes has Shane, and Rachel has Finn... Basically, my social calendar is open, so you don’t have to worry about being lonely if you can put up with me.” 

Sam considered, bopping his head along to the music in his checkered boxer shorts. “Alright. I’ll think about it.” 

“I think the three of us will be getting a hotel room for the night,” Kurt said, moving as if to stand, only to pause as Sam came closer. “What’re you doing?”

“Come on, you want me to go into the dressing room with no tips?” Sam grinned, gesturing to the pile of singles.

“You can take the $20 that the barman gave me, sure.” 

“Come on, I’m guessing this is the first time you’ve been to a strip club,” Sam said, moving even closer until his knees were pressing on either side of Kurt’s legs. “This is the best bit, y’know, from what I’ve heard.” 

“What? You want me to hand them to you, one by one.” Kurt said, picking one up off the top, and waving it at Sam. 

The gasp that came out of his mouth wasn’t dignified, but it wasn’t intentional. It was the only reaction he could make as Sam caught his hand gently, but tightly, and pressed it against his chest. It wasn’t oily like TV had told him to expect from strippers, although he supposed that wouldn’t have worked under clothes? But there was a tingle of tension as his fingertips brushed against Sam’s abs, and then came to a pause scant centimeters from Sam’s waistband. Sam was still holding his hand, but was watching him with a look of amused challenge.

“Come on, tip your server,” Sam murmured, and Kurt narrowed his eyes half a beat before he twisted his fingers lightly to tuck the dollar into the waistband. It was definitely not cold in this room, but his fingertips felt a lot hotter, and he could feel very, very fine stubble against his knuckles. But Sam was holding his hand in place, and Kurt trusted him not to get him into any issues.

“So you’re offering to hang out with me in Lima?” Sam said quietly, leaning in a little closer, “Is that like... a totally self sacrificing thing?” 

“You know me,” Kurt said quietly, refusing to break eye-contact, “very civic minded.”

“Yeah?” Sam now had his entire weight on the chair with Kurt. “What if I told you that I missed you just as much as I missed Mercedes and Quinn?” 

“I’d be flattered, since they were your girlfriends.” Kurt narrowed his eyes and withdrew his hand a little, “are you flirting with me, Mr. Samuels? Or are you just really good at your job?” 

“Can’t it be both?” Sam grinned, gesturing to the pile of money as he began to move, “Maybe I just want to make sure you get your money’s worth? Or maybe I’m gonna tell you about how I’ve been imaging every dude who buys a show is you.” 

“Every man?” Kurt said, picking up another single and letting Sam guide his hand around Sam’s hip, to slip it in over his ass cheek. “Do you get a lot of desperate twinks?” 

“No, but it’s easier to imagine it’s someone I like,” Sam grinned, “Dude, this is gonna make me sound like an asshole, but... I’m kinda glad you broke up with Blaine.” 

“That does make you sound like an asshole,” Kurt said, taking his hand back a little sharper.

“No, no, cause like... I dunno, he’s fine. He’s got the whole smile, and the dancing thing, and like, I can see why you’d like him. But I always kind of hoped... we’d get to sing our duet, y’know?” 

Kurt cocked his head, “Our duet?” 

“Oh yeah, I totally had a lot of time to think about it, and I looked up a few musicals...” Sam smirked, leaning in closer, until his mouth was by Kurt’s ear, and beginning to sing quietly.

_“Hey little boy, would you like a ride?_ _  
_ _A lollipop, a puppy?_ _  
_ _How about a baseball bat?_ _  
_ _There’s one in my pants._

Kurt bit his lip, closing his eyes as he felt Sam’s weight on his thigh. _“No thank you. My mom, she said to never talk to strangers.”_

_“So a kiss is out of the question then?”_ Sam sang quietly, leaning back until his lips were close enough that if Kurt just leaned forward a breath, he could meet them.

_“I’ll take a chance-”_ Kurt began to sing, feeling himself being pulled like iron to a magnet.

“But we can’t here,” Sam said, putting a hand lightly on Kurt’s chest. “That’ll definitely get you thrown out.” 

“The word ‘here’ sure is dangling in that sentence,” Kurt joked as he took a breath, trying to get his heart to stop thumping, “Is there somewhere you’d... want to?” He knew he sounded way too hopeful, and that if Sam laughed he’d be crushed, but... risk and reward.

“I can totally think of a lot of places I’d want to—” Sam said, his eyes darting briefly to Kurt’s lips. “How about this... I finish my shift as soon as I can. You drive Rachel and Finn to the motel. You come back, pick me up, drive us to my house, and I show you my bedroom?” 

“That... sounds like a plan,” Kurt agreed quickly, “And your parents are going to be okay with that?” 

“Sure. My friend from Ohio is really upset about breaking up with his boyfriend, and his brother is totally weird about talking about the gay thing, so he came down to see me, his good friend. My mom and dad will give each other looks, but they won’t say anything about it when I say you can take my bed, and I’ll get out the sleeping bag. And then, once everyone’s asleep...” 

_“I say, we go, fall asleep together.”_

Kurt shook his head, _“Should I bring my baseball bat?”_

_“I think that you should.”_ Sam winked, and then picked up the rest of the pile. “Don’t think this means I’m a cheap date though.” 

“$200 is not cheap,” Kurt muttered sarcastically, as Sam shifted off his lap. “I’m going to be wearing last season’s clothes to school.” 

“I mean, I think it’s pretty normal for you to steal your boyfriends clothes, so it won’t be totally old stuff” Sam grinned, slipping the rest of the stack to hang over his boxer shorts, the weight pulling them off kilter, which was entirely at odds with the sudden look of nervousness, “I mean, if you want. Unless, like... you just want this?” 

Kurt hesitated and then shook his head, “No, I’m not a sex without a relationship person. Now, am I a sex very early into the relationship guy? I guess we’ll find out tonight.” 

“I’m just going off your whole ‘trouser situation’, dude. If you just want to come over and like... make out, or just like...cuddle? That’s cool too.” Sam smiled nervously, “I’m not like... I know that I’m a stripper, but—” 

“Sam, you’re one of the sweetest guys I know. I’m not making any assumptions based on your job,” Kurtt shook his head. “Now, I’m going to leave quickly, like you had a profoundly embarrassing effect on me. I’ll—” He quickly pulled out a pen and jotted his number on the bottom of the piece of paper. “Call me, and I’ll pick you up whenever you’re ready.” 

“Alright,” Sam grinned, and gave Kurt a wink, “I hope Kurt has more stamina than Chazz.” 

“You’re a terrible flirt, _Evan._ ” Kurt grinned, and quickly moved for the door. 

* * *

Kurt sighed again as Rachel paced the hotel room, “I told you, he’s busy tonight. We can talk to him in the morning.” He repeated the lie, as he glanced at his phone again. Still no text, but he was getting closer and closer to just showing up early and looking desperate if it got him out of the tense situation in this tacky room

“He’s busy _at a strip club_!” Rachel spun towards him, almost taking Finn out with an elbow to the temple, “How could you leave him there?”

“As I’ve pointed out, he’s clearly been working there for a while,” Kurt folded his arms, “If someone was going to happen, it’s unlikely to happen in the hour or two between us discovering his job and me going to pick him up.” 

“But—But—” Rachel took a deep breath, “You opinion is being swayed by your hormones, and I would have thought you were better than that, Kurt Hummel.” 

“Whoa, that’s not fair.” Finn said quietly, trying to defuse the situation, as Kurt’s eyes narrowed, “Kurt’s not... I mean, Sam’s straight, right?” 

“That didn’t stop Kurt having a crush on you,” Rachel gestured, “and we know he was already interested in Sam—” 

“So I decided to leave him at a strip club to be oggled by divorcees in the midst of their midlife crisis, because I’m interested in him?” Kurt scoffed, “I thought I was bad at thinking things through.” 

“What am I supposed to think when you let Finn and I get a twin room, and you say you have other plans.” Rachel crossed her arms, “You’re staying with Sam aren’t you?” 

“The Evans have always liked me. I helped them out at the Motel. You two brought the school gossip blogger to their front door and made Sam’s life demonstrably more difficult.” Kurt stood up properly and slipped his phone into his pocket, “And how about you think; ‘Maybe I should stay out of Kurt’s personal business, after my interference lost him the presidency’, rather than trying to tell me how to live my life, Rachel.”

“That’s not fair—” Rachel started to complain, but Kurt cut her off with a sharp laugh.

“I agree! It’s not fair that you ruined my chances, because you didn’t believe I could do it alone.” Kurt glanced at Finn, who was staring at his feet. “I’m not judging Sam for his choices, but I am going to try and talk him out of it. I’m going to try and convince him to come back to McKinley. Beyond that, you have no right to know what we talk about or do. And in response, I’m not going to make any suggestions about what is going to happen in this hotel room, and I will tell Carole and Burt that I was here all night. Does that seem fair to you?”

“Yeah,” Finn said quickly, and Rachel muttered something under her breath as she walked away. “Yeah, that’s fine Kurt.” 

“Good,” He sighed, gesturing towards the door, “I’m going to drive over now.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Finn said, standing up and glancing back at Rachel for half a moment before opening the door. Kurt stepped outside, and the two of them walked for a while, before Finn blurted out, “You get that she’s just worried about Sam, right?” 

“As frustrating as she is, and despite her urge to blame me for nothing, I do understand. He’s far too young to be doing that,” Kurt sighed, “but trying to shame him isn’t going to help anyone. And, I’m not physically strong enough to pick him up and carry him out” 

“Yeah, and he’s not gonna make out with you if you make him feel bad,” Finn pointed out as he pressed the button for the elevator. Kurt took a quick deep breath, and Finn turned to him with a wide grin. “Knew it.” 

“You don’t know anything—” Kurt pointed threateningly, “You be quiet, Finn Hudson.”

“I’m not saying anything,” Finn shrugged, “I mean, you’re not asking about what’s gonna go on with me and Rachel, and I’m not asking about where you’re gonna be sleeping.”

“Okay. Neither of us are asking questions,” Kurt nodded, as the doors finally opened, and the two of them stepped inside. Finn hit the button for the lobby, and Kurt picked a point on the door to stare at as they descended. 

When they finally reached the Nav, Finn put his hand on the door, holding the door shut. “Are you okay? You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” 

“I’ll be fine.” Kurt shook his head, “Sam’s our friend.” 

“Yeah,” Finn nodded, letting go of the door, “but if you show up tomorrow crying, I’m gonna pound him, you know that right?”

“I’m supposed to look out for you, you know?” Kurt pointed out, “I’m the older brother.” 

“Technically, sure,” Finn shook his head, stepping away from the door. “Call me when you get to his house.” 

“I will text you,” Kurt climbed into the car and nodded to Finn. “ and I’ll be fine.” 

Of course feeling fine was easier when he was in the parking area of the hotel, rather than as he pulled into a parking spot outside Stallionz. He was mildly freaking out by the time someone knocked on his window, and the sudden sound made him drop his phone in the middle of the game of Fruit Ninja. He scrambled to pick it up, and when he turned back to the window, Sam was giving him a warm smile.

“What happened to calling me?” Kurt asked, as he cracked the window, “I could have still been at the hotel.” 

“I was gonna go to the shop down the street and get some supplies,” Sam gestured over his shoulder. “Y’know snacks and drinks and stuff?”

“Making it a true sleepover experience?” Kurt said lightly, “I could walk with you.” 

“I’ve already been,” Sam lifted a bag, “You were pretty into your phone.” 

“Well, I got bored of watching drunk moms stumble out of the door,” Kurt grinned, unlocking the doors. “We should try and get you home before midnight.” 

“Thanks. Usually I have to walk over to the Dairy Queen and call my dad for a pickup.” Sam quickly got into the passenger seat, and slipped the bag between his feet. “I’m... glad you came back.” 

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Kurt asked, as Sam clipped the belt into place.

“I mean, it’s one thing to be okay with all of that when you’ve got a boner,” Sam gestured towards hte bar and shrugged, “but... when you’ve had enough time to think it through? You might have decided I wasn’t worth it.” 

“Worth what?” Kurt shook his head, “My friendship?”

“I mean, it’s fine. Look, I want to come back to Lima. It’d be cool to stop having to worry about... everything. To stop having to be Stevie and Stacy’s second dad. To just be a kid.” Sam shrugged, “but if my parents say no? I need this job. It lets me make enough money to help out, and gives me enough time to do homework during the week.” 

“You think that your parents think that the Dairy Queen pays this much?” Kurt tilted his head, and Sam glanced at his feet.

“No. But I think they don’t want to ask. I think it’s easier to treat me like an adult, because then they don’t have to deal with the guilt of making me grow up so quickly.” Sam took a deep breath and waved off what he’d been saying with a smile, “Come on, if we get home fast enough, Stacy and Stevie can mob you and get back into bed.” 

Kurt started driving, but he couldn’t help but watch as Sam slowly seemed to become more tense with each direction he gave, and as they turned onto a residential street, Kurt finally spoke up. “I can just drop you off and go back to the hotel, if you’re uncomfortable with me being with your family?”

“What? No.” Sam shook his head rapidly, “It’s not you. It’s just... This is going to sound lame. At home there are all these expectations, right? Like, I’ve got to be a good son, a good older brother. I’ve got to not ask for too much, or cause too much of a problem. I’ve gotta treat my mom and dad with the respect that they deserve, and I’ve got to pitch in and ensure that my brother and sister get where they need to go, and get the things they need... and like, my parents say that I don’t have to do it, but then they’ll ask me to do something and it’s obvious they’re too exhausted to do it themselves, so I’ll do it, y’know?” 

“You’re trying to help where you can,” Kurt nods, “It’s admirable.” 

“At least at work, I don’t have to try. Like... I’m hot. I know I am, and that might sound a little full of myself but... I mean, come on.” He gestured to himself “Right?”

“You are very attractive, yes,” Kurt said, pointedly keeping his eyes fixed on the road. 

“Thanks. So, I go in, I dance, I make people feel good without having to really... do anything, and that’s great.” Sam sighs, “It’s the only time I feel like I can relax. There’s no Glee Club at my new school. I don’t have any friends... When I’m at home, I’m doing homework, or watching Stacy and Stevie, or... I’m just tired, Kurt.” 

Kurt nodded quietly as he pulled into the parking spot outside the Evans house. “I can’t tell you what to do, Sam. But, we miss you. You have friends in McKinley. If you wanted to get a job there? That’d be your choice. If you just wanted to play video games with the guys, also a valid choice.” Kurt set the handbrake, and glanced over at the house. “Looks like everyone’s asleep.” 

“My dad’ll be up.” Sam sighed, unbuckling his seatbelt, “He likes to make sure I get home okay.” 

Kurt let Sam lead him up to the house, and waited patiently for him to unlock the door before they stepped inside. Dwight immediately straightened up in an armchair by the TV, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sam?” 

“Yeah, dad.” Sam said quietly, “and a visitor.” 

“Good evening, Mr. Evans.” Kurt tried to match Sam’s volume, stepping forward and offering a hand, “I hope this isn’t too much of an imposition.” 

“A surprise, sure, but no imposition,” Dwight shook his hand firmly, “You’re a long way from Lima, Kurt.” 

“I needed to escape the horrors of my failed presidential campaign,” Kurt shrugged, “Sam’s always been a good friend.”

“Well, I’d offer you the couch, but it’s not exactly the most comfortable thing,” Dwight gestured into the room, picking up a cold cup of coffee from the side table.

“Kurt can take my bed, I’ll just drag out a sleeping bag,” Sam said confidently, and Kurt watched as Dwight paused for half a moment to examine Sam before he shrugged.

“Sure.” 

He walked past them, and Kurt waited until he was out of sight to wince. “He knows.” 

“Don’t ask, Don’t tell,” Sam shrugged, putting a hand on Kurt’s shoulder and steering him towards the kitchen. “Are you at work tomorrow, dad?”

“Day off. We were thinking about taking Stevie and Stacy to the park,” Dwight was washing out the cup, and he paused to glance back at them, “You’re free to come, Kurt.” 

“I... There’s something I want to talk to you about in the morning,” Sam said, squeezing Kurt’s shoulder lightly. “It’s important.” 

Dwight nodded, and put the cup on the draining board. “Alright. Stevie and Stacy too?” 

“No, I should... It should just be the four of us first.” Sam shook his head, “I don’t want to upset them for nothing.” 

“Okay. After breakfast then, Kurt you’re not one of those vegetarians are you?” Dwight said, offering Kurt a small smile as he moved towards the fridge.

“You’ve met my dad. I don’t think I’d have survived childhood if I couldn’t eat bacon.” Kurt smiled, “but you don’t have to—”

“You’re a guest. We’re not in the motel anymore. We can stretch out for a sixth breakfast.” Dwight opened the fridge and looked inside, “Don’t tell me you’re turning down southern hospitality.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Mr. Evans,” Kurt said, and Dwight nodded again.

“Sam, did you eat before work? Or at work?” 

“I’ve got snacks. We’ll keep it down.” Sam hefted the plastic bag at his side. “Goodnight, dad.” 

“Night Sam. Kurt.” 

Sam steered Kurt back out of the room, and up the stairs. He gestured down the hall, “That’s Stacy and Stevie’s room, and mom and dads. Bathroom there , and then... this is me.” 

He pushed open a door that was a fair distance from the other two bedrooms, and Kurt stepped into the room. It was a little cramped, but Kurt didn’t mention it, as he took in the double bed, and the couple of comic books on the bedside table. One of the dresser drawers was open, though it wasn’t particularly stuffed, and Kurt watched as Sam quickly moved to close it and clean up a little.

The room felt like Sam. In the warmth, and the faint scent, and the colors and the materials. He definitely felt like he was invading the space, but as the comic books vanished into a draw, Sam turned towards him with a bright smile and gestured him further into the room. He quickly maneuvered past him, and turned the lock on the door, before pushing a draught excluder against the crack at the bottom.

“I know it won’t really make a difference, but every little helps, right?” He grinned, as he shifted from foot to foot. “You... wanna sit down?” 

“On your bed?” Kurt asked, glancing at it with concern.

“Relax, it won’t bite,” Sam shook his head, and sat down at the furthest end. Kurt took a breath and sat too, folding his legs. “I...Chocolate?” Sam offered the bag, and Kurt took a small bar, just to have something to do with his hands.

The silence stretched on for a moment, and Kurt tried to find something to say, “So... Why White Chocolate?” 

“It was a joke I made with Mercedes, and then... y’know they kind of put me on the spot.” Sam shrugged, unwrapping his chocolate bar and breaking off a piece. “Why, what’d yours be?”

“Porcelaine is the easy option,” Kurt considered for a moment, “But I don’t know how marketable it is.” 

“I’d come and see a Porcelaine show.” Sam said, staring at the bed. Kurt felt his cheeks warm up, and the awkwardness slowly began to creep back in, before Sam spoke up, “I know we were flirting at work, but... you know you don’t have to do that to get me to come back to McKinley.” 

“And you know that... if we were to do anything, it wouldn’t be predicated on you returning to Lima.” Kurt said quietly, “I mean, I’m not trying to bribe you with... that.” 

“And I’m saying I’m happy to do that without any kind of...” Sam made a vague gesture, “y’know?” 

“Yeah,” Kurt couldn’t help but smile. “I think it’s pretty clear that I liked you at the start of last year.” 

“Before Finn convinced you to not do the duet,” Sam nodded, “And I started dating Quinn.” 

“And then I was dating Blaine...”

“...and then you had that whole bi freakout...” 

“To be clear, it was more based on the fact that the only other gay boy I had met that was even remotely in my age bracket, who had spent a good week convincing me I needed to be out and proud and to fight back against intolerance, was suddenly saying he was more interested in my female friend than me.” 

“Well, you know, some people are dumb.” Sam shrugged, “I mean, I didn’t believe it, but it didn’t feel like the right time to come running in and be like, ‘Hey, I’m available, and also homeless, date me.’” 

“You know that wouldn’t have mattered to me.” Kurt shook his head, “I mean, I don’t think I’d have broken up with Blaine, but... That wouldn’t have bothered me.” 

“And now? With my job?” Sam picked at his jeans, not quite looking at Kurt.

“I...” Kurt pursed his lips, “I’m worried, I won’t lie. There’s just so much that could go wrong, and so many ways you could get hurt. But, I don’t think less of you because of it. If we were dating, I might be a little jealous about other people getting to see you like that...”

“I mean, even if I started spending all my stripper money on taking you on dates?” Sam’s lips tugged up into a smile. “Buying you new scarves and hats and stuff?” 

“Hitting me where I’m weakest. Retail,” Kurt shook his head with a wry grin.

“I... I’m going to get changed.” Sam said quietly, standing up and moving to the dresser. Kurt watched as he pulled out some sweat pants and a t-shirt, and then paused, before glancing over his shoulder at Kurt. “Did you bring anything?”

Kurt shook his head, and Sam nodded before throwing him the clothes and grabbing more for himself. Kurt clutched the material, as Sam pulled off his shirt, leaving only his undershirt, and then kicked off his jeans. The motions weren’t supposed to be arousing, Kurt could tell that much, but the heat quickly rose in his cheeks as watched the muscles of his arms flex as he tried to balance on one foot to pull on the sweatpants.

Kurt quickly undid the button on his skinny jeans, and shuffled them down his legs, before pulling on the soft grey material, pulling the waist strings as tight as he could. He was about to start on the buttons of his shirt when Sam began to turn around. 

“Wait-” Kurt held up a hand, and Sam paused. 

“What’s up?” 

“I just... I’m about to change my shirt,” Kurt continued to pick at the buttons as quickly as he could.

“I’ve seen you shirtless before, dude.” Sam said, but still turned around.

“Then you know it isn’t exactly the most attractive sight in the world,” Kurt rolled his eyes as he finally pulled the shirt off, and pulled on the McKinley High Athletics shirt. 

“Hard disagree, dude,” Sam muttered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

“You don’t have to lie. You’re surrounded by very attractive men—” Kurt sighed, shifting back on the bed, “I’m decent.” 

“There isn’t like... a limited amount of hotness in the world,” Sam turned, and gave Kurt a small shrug, “You, Santana, Quinn and Mercedes can all be hot at the same time, and I can still point at a dude or a girl on tv and say they’re hot too.” 

“I suppose I just have a hard time believing that,” Kurt shrugged, “but that’s not a fun topic.”

“I can make it one,” Sam moved a little quicker than Kurt was expecting, and was kneeling on the edge of the bed, holding one of Kurt’s hands in both of his. Kurt hesitated, but didn’t flinch away as Sam rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand. 

“I’m sorry, if you’re planning on us picking up at where we were in the club, I’m all out of singles.” He said, and then instantly winced, “Sorry, I—” 

“No need to be sorry,” Sam shook his head, “You know, I always really loved how much you talk with your hands. I mean, I do the same thing, but I’m always, like, energetic and dorky, while you make all these graceful gestures. And watching you play piano is... an experience, dude.” He lifted the hand slowly and pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles. 

“Oh...” Kurt whispered, and Sam grinned wider as his other hand slipped up Kurt’s arm, “Are you planning on complimenting me all night?” 

“Just until I think you believe me,” Sam grinned, “You’ve got really nice arms too. Like, they’re not big, but they’re solid. I’d totally trust you to have my back.” He pressed a quick kiss against Kurt’s forearm, and then gently pulled him forward to reach his upper arm, pressing a gentler kiss at the spot where the shirt sleeve met his skin. He wasn’t holding Kurt tight, but it wouldn’t have mattered because Kurt was transfixed as Sam’s hand slipped across his chest for a moment, as he ducked in, “The next one is going to be about how much I love your voice, and I was gonna kiss, like, your neck? But I really want to just kiss you, so, if I say that I think you sing even better than Faith Hill now, would that let me jump straight to kissing you?” 

“It’d get you pretty close,” Kurt wet his lips quickly, “But... like I said, I try not to kiss boys who aren’t my boyfriend.” 

“I don’t want to promise that, in case my parents say I can’t come with you tomorrow,” Sam said softly, frowning, “I’m not good at the long distance thing. I don’t like not being there to give my boyfriend or girlfriend... everything I can.” 

Kurt nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. “So where does that leave us?” 

“I can’t promise you tomorrow, Kurt,” Sam said softly, and then considered for a moment, before he climbed off the bed. Kurt tried not to be too disappointed at the lost contact, and he forced himself to settle as Sam moved across the room. A couple of moments passed, and then Kurt watched as Sam returned and sat at the far end of the bed, with the guitar in his lap. “If my parents come in and shout, try not to let that ruin the point?” 

_My head is stuck in the clouds_

_He begs me to come down_

_Says, "Boy, quit fooling around"_

_I told him, "I love the view from up here_

_Warm sun and wind in my ear_

_We'll watch the world from above_

_As it turns to the rhythm of love"_   
  


_We may only have tonight_

_But till the morning sun, you're mine_

_All mine_

_Play the music low_

_And sway to the rhythm of love”_

Kurt couldn’t help the smile that Sam pulled out of him, and he obliged, swaying lightly side to side to the music. Sam’s smile only got wider, as he began to tap the guitar, the music echoing in Kurt’s mind even without the actual strumming. 

_“My heart beats like a drum_

_A guitar string to the strum_

_A beautiful song to be sung_

_He's got blue eyes deep like the sea_

_That roll back when he's laughing at me_

_He rises up like the tide_

_The moment her lips meet mine_

_We may only have tonight_

_But till the morning sun, you're mine_

_All mine_

_Play the music low_

_And sway to the rhythm of love.”_

Sam let the chords repeat quietly, and Kurt shuffled towards him a little.

“In a perfect world, Kurt, I could promise you that I’ll come with you tomorrow. But, what I can promise you is tonight.” Sam said quietly, and Kurt nodded slowly, “As friends, as people who might be boyfriends, as whatever it is you want me to be.” 

“We’ll work all that out tomorrow,” Kurt assured, gently reaching to take the guitar out of Sam’s hands and put it to one side at the bottom of the bed, “but it turns out that my second weak spot is boys playing music for me, in their bedroom, and asking to kiss me. So.. I think we should do that now.” 

“Yeah,” Sam nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah, I’m super onboard, no complaints—” 

Kurt grinned, and cut him off as he leaned in to kiss him gently. Sam melted into the kiss, and Kurt couldn’t blame him as his hands moved to rest on Sam’s shoulders. He didn’t even complain when Sam’s hands moved to his waist and he slowly shifted them both back, before twisting gently until Kurt was on top. Sam’s hands rested on Kurt’s lower back, and he pulled back for half a moment, biting his lip. 

“This okay?”

“More than,” Kurt assured, “I’ll tell you if it isn’t.” He leaned in to kiss Sam gently, and let everything else melt away.

* * *

Dwight and Mary said yes. 

Kurt wished that meant that all his questions were answered, and that this got to mean that he was happy and excited, but instead.... No, he definitely was happy that Sam was coming with them. He was definitely excited about getting to spend time with his friend again! But...

“Can we show Kurt our room?” Stacy asked in a way that definitely sounded more like an announcement of what was going to happen, as opposed to a request. Mary glanced towards him, and he gave a brief nod.

“Is your room clean enough to show him?” Mary asked lightly, sipping on her coffee. The two nodded enthusiastically, and Kurt let himself be tugged away from the dinner table and given a whirlwind tour of the house, of Stacy’s wardrobe, and Stevie’s toys, and here a shotgun spray of information about their school.

Maybe twenty minutes later, Dwight knocked on the doorframe, giving Kurt a small nod, “Alright, we worked everything out with your dad and Finn’s mom. Sam’s packing up his room, but we thought you might want to go pick up Finn and Rachel and bring them here?”

“I can do that,” Kurt nodded, grinning at Stevie and Stacy’s complaints. “Hey, you’re going to hear from me soon. I imagine there’s going to be a lot of calls from Sam, right?” 

Dwight walked him downstairs, and out to the car. At least Finn and Rachel were waiting to be picked up like he had asked, and he didn’t mention Finn’s dopey grin as they approached, or the way that they were holding hands like they were going to float away if they didn’t. There was definitely a moment of awkward amusement, as they tried to decide where they were going to sit, before they finally separated.

“Uh, so, I was thinking last night-” Finn said quietly as they pulled onto the road, “How’re you gonna explain the, uh, cost to Burt?” 

“Well, we got two rooms. One for you, and one for Rachel.” Kurt glanced in the rearview mirror, “And you both stayed in the right room all night.” 

“Right, totally,” Finn nodded, “But like, won’t they show up as different charges?” 

“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it,” Kurt waved a hand dismissively. “You didn’t demolish the mini-bar, did you?” 

“No, we have more sense than that,” Rachel said loudly, pulling out her phone and examining something, “Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Evans works better? Or Dwight and Mary? First names make us seem like we’re on a more equal footing, which is a good place to start a negotiation—” 

“Okay, first things first, Mr. and Mrs., or Sir and Ma’am.” Kurt frowned, “what’s that?”

“Oh, I prepared a very convincing speech last night,” Rachel smiled brightly, “Finn and I worked on it for most of the evening. It hits on the themes of community, the restorative abilities of the arts, and civic mindedness. I included some light allusions to Christianity, which was difficult, but I think you have to use the language of the audience, don’t you?” 

“I...” Kurt shook his head lightly, “You have a speech.” 

“Well, Finn doesn’t do well in improvisational situations.” Rachel gestured lightly.

“Hey!” Finn narrowed his eyes a little, “I’m fine improving things.” 

“Improvising,” Kurt corrected without thought, “I’m sorry, what do you think I did last night and this morning?” 

“Uh, you really want an answer on that one?” Finn said, tilting his head, “because I’ve been trying real hard not to think about it.” 

Kurt felt his cheeks heat up, and pointedly did not make eye contact with Rachel no matter how hard she tried, “What I’m saying is, I already spoke to Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I already spoke with my dad.” 

“Oh... well, that’s a setback, but I’m sure my speech can get everything straightened out.” Rachel sighed, tapping at it, “I’ll just jump straight to the paragraphs where they seem unwilling.” 

Kurt narrowed his eyes, and although he wanted to defend himself, there was a bigger part of himself that wanted to see the look on Rachel’s face when they arrived at the house, and the pettiness won out. He let her decide on the music, and it wasn’t long before they were pulling up outside the Evan’s home again. 

He had barely undone his belt before Rachel was out of the car straightening her skirt and setting her hair. He glanced back at Finn, who shrugged helplessly, and quickly moved to follow her as she marched up to the door and rang the bell. 

The moment hung in the air for a long time, and as she raised her hand to ring again, Kurt reached out to stop her.

“Maybe they didn’t hear us?” She said, frowning at him, “They seemed like far too polite a family to—” 

Her point was cut off as the door opened, and Sam stood before them. The redness around his eyes was obvious, and it tugged at Kurt’s heart even as he offered a shaky smile. “I... uh, I’ve got some stuff I need to bring?” 

“Finn, can you open up the back?” Kurt called over his shoulder. Finn nodded and moved to open up the trunk as Kurt maneuvered Rachel out of the way. The rest of Sam’s family stood in the hallway, Stevie and Stacy clinging to their parents, looking as though they might burst into tears at any moment. He couldn’t help but take a step forward, kneeling down to their level. “I’m going to take good care of Sam, okay? I’m a big brother too, so I’m good at taking care of people.”

Stevie nodded quietly, but Stacy practically flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and sobbing into his shoulder. He made soft noises, rubbing her back until she finally pulled away and wiped at her snotty face. This shirt would definitely need to go in the laundry ASAP when he got home. 

“We’ll call when we get to Lima,” He smiled and shook Mary and Dwight’s hands. “Thank you.” 

“No, thank you, Kurt,” Mary said softly, “for giving Sam a chance to be a kid again.” 

Kurt nodded, not sure of what else to say as Sam returned and picked up another couple of bags and hit guitar. Rachel had clearly got the message that she wasn’t needed, now hovering next to Finn by the car, as Sam gave his family one last round of hugs and made his way towards the Naivgator. 

“Uh, is it too late to call shotgun?” Sam asked, his voice a little rough but with a small smile.

“I generally have first priority on the passenger seat, because it allows me better access to the radio, and I can answer any texts that Kurt gets.” Rachel glanced to Kurt and then back to Sam, “But, I suppose this once, I can sit in the back with Finn.” 

“Thank you for your sacrifice,” Kurt said, patting her arm, and ignoring Finn’s offended noise. He climbed into the driver’s side, and was in the midst of making sure everything was arranged correctly when Sam finally climbed in next to him. A quick glance around didn’t reveal Finn and Rachel though, and Kurt turned towards Sam with a confused look.

“I asked them to make themselves busy for a couple of minutes,” Sam admitted, “I... so, last night. I meant what I said.” 

Kurt felt his heart sink a little, but he forced a polite smile, “About us only having last night?”

“No! No, I—” Sam reached across and put his hand on top of Kurt’s on the hand break. “I couldn’t promise today, yesterday. I didn’t know what was going to happen when we spoke to them. But... I wanted to know if you still... want that.” 

“Want...” Kurt looked at their hands, “Sex?”

“I mean, I am really, really on board for sex,” Sam laughed nervously, looking down at their hands, “but I meant, like... When we get to Lima, and I’ve got my feet on the ground, I’d like to take you on a date. I mean, I don’t have a lot of money, so I can’t promise anything expensive but—” 

“I’d love that.” Kurt cut him off quickly, “I really would.”

“Yeah?” Sam said, looking up hopefully, “I mean, I’m coming to Lima either way. So, you don’t _have_ to.” 

“Sam, you’re a very good singer, but I didn’t sleep with you to get you to come back to McKinley,” Kurt shook his head, “I want to date you. In fact, I practically demand at least one date after last night, but in the nicest way possible where you can say no.”

“Cool.” Sam grinned, and leaned in to kiss Kurt gently. Kurt melted into it, and was frustrated when there was a sharp knock against the window.

“Come on, guys! We’ve gotta get going if we’re going to be home before it gets dark.” Finn said as Rachel let herself into the back. Sam straightened up, and Kurt blinked the dazed feeling out of his eyes before he settled back at the wheel. 

He wanted to get home soon, so he could do that again.

* * *

Rachel excused herself as soon as they got to the house, but the look she gave Kurt suggested that he was going to have to be prepared for her call later. And that there was no chance of her not telling... well, literally everyone, about him and Sam.

Him and Sam. He grinned at that thought as he cradled Sam’s guitar in his hands as Finn and Sam balanced the other bags between them. Finn rolled his eyes at Kurt, but didn’t comment on it as Carole opened the door.

“Sam! Come in, please.” She said brightly, moving out of the way so the two of them could pass, before focusing her attention on Kurt with a knowing grin, “You seem to be in a good mood.” 

“Just happy to see my friend,” Kurt wasn’t sure if it counted as a lie, and he wasn’t sure if Carole had believed him. She just grinned, and gestured towards the house. 

“We made up the guest room, and we’ll see what we can do about making it feel a little more like home for you,” She said to Sam, and gestured to the ground. “You can put your bags down, if you like. Finn’ll run them upstairs.” 

“Why—” Finn started to complain, but Carole silenced him with a look.

“You don’t have to do that Ma’am,” Sam said, but still put the bags down, “I don’t want to be a burden.” 

“You’re not a burden, Sam,” She assured, “and, please, call me Carole. Come on, let’s get you something to drink. Kurt, you’ll help Finn with the bags, right?” 

“I’ll make sure nothing gets broken.” Kurt said with a small smile. Between the two of them, they were able to get the bags to the room, and Kurt took a moment to make sure that everything was in order. Extra blanket under the bed in case Sam got cold, extra pillows in case he needed them. Guitar on the bed, so he could decide where it would be best kept. 

He stopped himself from unpacking for Sam too, because as much as he wanted Sam to immediately feel at home, that felt like a step too far. When he turned towards Finn, he was looking at him with a bemused smile. “What?” Kurt asked, folding his arms.

“Nothing, I’m... I’m just happy for you, bro.” Finn shrugged, “You’re happy, right?”

“I am,” Kurt nodded, and Finn grinned.

“Awesome.” He gestured over his shoulder, “I’m gonna go see if Puck’s online for some Call of Duty. But tell Sam that if he’s done making out with you, he can play too.” 

“You’re the worst,” Kurt resisted the urge to throw anything at Finn, and instead just shoved him down the hall. Finn was grinning the whole way, and Kurt would’ve been lying if he said he wasn’t smiling too at the idea that... he could. He could make out with Sam, whenever they were both wanting to. 

He practically bounced down the stairs, only briefly pausing at the bottom when he saw Sam sitting quietly on the couch, with Carole and Burt sitting across from him in the arm chairs. His dad glanced up, and gave him a nod before gesturing to the couch. “You wanna join us?”

“Want is such a subjective term,” He joked lightly, but moved to sit next to Sam, keeping a polite distance. “Should I call Finn?” 

“No, I think this is more of a private discussion.” Burt glanced to Carole who nodded reassuringly. “So...I want to kick off this whole thing the right way. So, I want to ask if either of you have anything you want to admit?”

“Uh...” Sam’s eyes opened dramatically, and he turned towards Kurt almost on instinct. Kurt sighed, and tried not to hold the guilty gesture against Sam.

“You’ll have to be more specific,” He said lightly as he crossed his legs.

“I think what your dad is saying,” Carole said lightly, “is, do you think you need to tell us anything that might change any of the house rules?”

Kurt frowned, and glanced back to Sam, who looked less guilty and more confused now. “I still don’t understand.” 

“You’re not getting out of this by playing dumb,” Burt grumbled, and Carole sighed.

“So, when Finn has a girl over, they have to keep the bedroom door open, and they can’t sleep over. The same with Blaine, remember?” She said, glancing between the two of them.” 

“Oh,” Sam sighed in relief, “I... yeah. Before we set off, we... I asked Kurt if he’d want to go on a date sometime.” 

“I said yes, to be clear,” Kurt frowned, crossing his arms, “I’m allowed to date.” 

“Yeah, but there’s things to think about if your boyfriend is living with you,” Burt muttered, shuffling in his seat. “But, thanks. For admitting it. Cause Dwight and Mary already told us on the phone, and if you didn’t, it’d have looked real bad.” 

“Does that mean... I can’t live here?” Sam asked quietly.

“No, Sam, that’s not it at all,” Carole quickly assured, reaching across to take his hand, “It just means we have to be clear about our rules.”

“So, here are our ground rules,” Burt glanced to Carole who nodded, “We’re gonna go wiith an open door policy. You can be in each other’s room, but the door stays wide open, and you’re back in your own bedroom before lights off.” 

“You’re allowed to act like a couple in the house and out of it too,” Carole continued, “We won’t ask you to hide your relationship anymore that we’d ask Rachel and Finn to hide theirs.” 

“I know you don’t want to talk about this when you’re starting a relationship, but given the situation, I think it needs to be said,” Burt turned his attention towards Sam, “Whatever happens, you’ve got a home in Lima. Even if it doesn’t work out, you have a room in this house, and if you have to leave for whatever reason, Rachel’s dads would be happy to put you up.” 

“I appreciate that, Sir,” Sam nodded, squeezing Kurt’s hand gently, “I mean, I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure it works out, obviously.” 

“You’ve had a long drive, so we can go over the more specific stuff like chores later,” Carole put a hand on Burt’s arm, “We should go and start cooking.” 

“Thank you,” Kurt said quietly, as the two of them made their way out of the room, and once they were out of sight he buried his face in Sam’s shoulder. “Excruciating.” 

“Hey, I think it went pretty well,” Sam said softly, letting go of Kurt’s hand so he could reach up and put his around him, his hand a warm presence in the middle of Kurt’s back, “I mean, okay, we can’t have a repeat of last night for a while—” 

“Shh,” Kurt slapped his chest lightly, pulling back to glance over at the door, “Sam!”

“I meant sleeping in the same bed,” Sam tilted his head with faux-innocence. “What did you mean?” 

“You know exactly what you meant,” Kurt narrowed his eyes, before letting himself sink back down until he was using Sam’s shoulder like a pillow. Sam’s hand drifted lower, until it was wrapped around his waist, and Kurt let out a soft sigh. “Not to ruin the moment... or I suppose, change it into another moment, but I’m sure I could get some suggestions from Puck about where we could go to... spend some time in each other’s company.” 

Sam grinned, his thumb moving softly against the fabric of Kurt’s shirt, “How much time, and how many clothes are you thinking?” 

“It depends on the location, I suppose,” Kurt teased back. There was a creek on the stairs, and Kurt almost bolted upright as Finn came lumbering down in a fresh set of clothes, and collapsed into one of the other armchairs, before reaching for the remote.

“Puck’s busy. What’re we having for dinner? I’m starving, dude.” He called over, with absolutely no reaction to their closeness. Kurt waited for half a moment, in case he was taking a second to realise what was going on, but when Finn just looked at him with confusion and impatience he shrugged. 

“I’m not cooking. I just drove to Kentucky and back because you ruined Rachel’s car.” He shot back, and Finn rolled his eyes and started to dramatically complain about how it wasn’t his fault that Rachel didn’t take good care of her car, and how it could have happened to anyone. Kurt could see Sam grinning out of the corner of his eye, even as Kurt argued back just as thoroughly about proper maintenance, and the argument continued until they were called for dinner. 

And in the hallway between their bedrooms, if anyone witnessed Sam and Kurt kissing before heading to their separate rooms, they had the good sense not to comment upon it.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this story! Just something light and cute. Let me know if you think I should have included any warnings or tags.
> 
> For the songs they sang:  
> You and I - Cast of Bare: a Pop Opera - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhBLQls5uE8  
> Rhythm of Love - Plain White T’s- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWiwuiT58Yc


End file.
